One day I counted how many things I asked my kids to do in a day. I asked for 56 things, from “please come to the table” to “stop punching your brother” to“tell me what you want for breakfast”, etc. I had to ask 186 times. Which means, not only do I ask my children to do things an average of 3.2 times, but 130 times I was completely ignored. 130 times. On a completely average day. Is it any wonder I feel completely invisible? Unseen and unheard?
It’s not just parenting that can make us feel that way, though. Think of all the times you’ve felt invisible. Maybe your middle school teacher said to partner up and everyone avoided making eye contact with you. Maybe you signed up for that dating app and the guy you were interested in didn’t even write back. Maybe you walked into church and the people around you said hello to their friends and headed for their “regular” seats while you tried to look like you belonged. Maybe a colleague got a promotion that you felt you deserved. Maybe you sent out 75 resumes and didn’t get a call. Maybe you voiced an opinion in a group and no one bothered to acknowledge it. Maybe you saw pictures on Facebook of an event that you weren’t invited to, but your friends were.
Do you feel it? The nausea? The pit in your stomach? The rapid heartbeat, the panic? Even if you haven’t been in one of these exact situations, you’ve been in one that made you feel that way. We all have. Even those people that always seem to fit in wherever they go.
In Genesis 16, we hear the story of an invisible woman. The Bible calls her Hagar. Hagar means “the other” – it’s possible that Hagar isn’t really her name, but a way they referred to their servants, regarding them as not even worthy of a name. Hagar is an Egyptian captive, a servant in a foreign land to Abraham’s wife, Sarah (actually named Abram and Sarai here, before God changes their names, but I’m going with the more familiar names). God has promised Abraham that he would be the father of a great nation. Sarah is already 85 years old so she’s not buying any of that and takes matters into her own hands. Sarah”gives” Hagar to Abraham to have children with him. Hagar becomes pregnant, which causes animosity between the two women – shocker! – and Hagar ends up running away into the dessert.
So here’s Hagar – a runaway, pregnant slave, in a foreign country, wandering in the wilderness. She is the poster girl for “invisible woman”. But the Lord, through an angel, meets her there. He calls her by name, listens to her, and empathizes with her. Then he tells her to go back to Sarah. At which point, I can very well see her saying, “Um, excuse me much? Nope. No thanks. Not the advice I needed there, I’ll check with one of those other gods. Thanks for the listening ear.” I’m pretty sure that’s what I would have done. But Hagar just had an encounter with the true God. When HE sees you and hears you, it makes all the difference. Hagar says “You are the God who sees me. Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” And then do you know what she does?
She goes back.
This just blows my mind. We don’t know what, if any, kind of relationship Hagar previously had with God. Her native Egyptian culture worshipped many idols and gods, but she had been in Abraham and Sarah’s household so she had at least heard of the true God. Whatever she experienced before, this one encounter with God is so powerful that she turns around and goes back to the life she was escaping from. When we encounter God, we can’t help but be transformed. He is that powerful and that good.
God is a personal God – He meets Hagar where she is. When He sees her and hears her, Hagar understands how precious she is to God. Of all the names she could have given Him, she chooses “the God who sees me”. Think of all the times that people’s lives were changed when they were seen by Jesus – Zacchaeus up in the tree (Luke 19:1-10), the many sick and crippled that were healed, the twelve apostles who dropped everything when they were called to follow Him (Matthew 4:18-22; Mark 3:13-19), the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:1-30), the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), Saul (Acts 9:1-30), or even the Pharisees. Every time that Jesus came into contact with people, He saw them, understood them, met them where they were, and they were changed. Those who believed in Him were changed for the better, but the hearts of those who put their trust in themselves (like the Pharisees) continued to grow harder.
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to stop in the middle of my crazy life and remember that God is seeing me. It often takes a stressful situation to force me back to God. Today is the first day of school and I’m having some anxiety about it. As I’m writing this, God reminded me, “I see your kids, too.” What a gentle, calming reminder! What a loving, powerful, personal God we have! I’m praying that God will break through my stubborn heart and remind me often that He is here.
There’s another application for us in here as well. As Christians, we are called to be like Christ and glorify Him here on earth. We can show others who God is by really seeing them and hearing them. Take the time to really listen when someone is talking – without thinking of what you’re going to say next or when you can leave. Look for people that you can include in your group. When you meet someone, take the time to ask them a few questions and get to know them a little better. When someone crosses your mind or you pray for them, send them a quick “Just thinking of you right now!” text. We can’t and don’t have to be everything to everyone. But we can show the people who cross our paths how much God values them by treating them as God would – seeing them and hearing them.
Hagar’s story doesn’t end when she goes back to Sarah. She ends up, years later, sent away and alone in the wilderness AGAIN, this time with her teenage son near death. (Why does this keep happening to her? I guess people got banished to the wilderness more regularly back in biblical times then they do today?) Again, God meets her there and tells her “Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is”. (Genesis 21:8-21) Because God doesn’t just meet us one time and say, “There you go. That’s your help. You’re on your own now!” He is always there, even when we get into the same situations over and over again.
Today, pray that God will open your eyes to how precious you are in His sight. Pray that you will feel His presence as He sees you and hears you right where you are so that you can have daily, life-changing encounters with Him. Rest in the fact that you are seen by the Almighty God, the High King.